The eyes are the nipples of the face.

The House Bunny - 5/10

This isn't a film I wanted to see, but Robb asked me and Derry to go, and I love convincing Der to go to movies I know he'll hate, although I don't know why. It was surprisingly hilarious. I hate Anna Faris a tiny bit less. Just a teeny, tiny bit. She is the fucking spit of Britney Spears. That has nothing to do with me hating her, just that I only noticed it today.

Anyway, this movie is basically about how life is only good if you are hot, but you don't have to be hot and stupid, you can be hot and smart. Or something along those lines. Wonderfully shallow stuff.

It's only getting 5/10 because although there was some brilliant one-liners and really hilarious bits, the story itself was a bit shit, it got really lame at the end, and there was too much slap-stick comedy with Anna Faris just being a dope and falling over and stuff.

In other news, I got up at 15:30 today. My life is a sham. I need to get a job before I kill myself purely from being completely useless. I HAVE NO USE. I also have no cash.

Hopefully something will come up soon.

Stuff

I went to see Burn After Reading today. Fuck it was so good. 10/10. I never give films 10 out of 10. I've changed my mind. 9 and a half. I don't know why I'm taking off that half.

I would fully back the Coen brothers if it wasn't for that film Intolerable Cruelty they did a few years ago. That was shit.

Next film I am super excited for would probably be Choke. There was a trailer for it before the movie today. I read the book by Chuck Palahniuk last year and it is so good. I love Chuck Palahniuk. Fight Club, Choke and Survivor are my favourites, in that order, but I hate that book Diary. Loads of people seem to bum that one, but I seriously hated it.

I am getting really fucked off with Cineworld. Every time I have gone to the cinema recently, my Unlimited card hasn't worked. It's getting really annoying. Actually it was really annoying the first time. At this stage it is fucking ridiculous. I'm sick of being put on the phone, being on hold, confirming my bank details, filling out the form for a complimentary ticket, being told my card would be fine from now on, and repeating the whole stupid process again the next time round. It makes me not want to go to the cinema anymore, and going to the cinema is my favourite.

For those of you who might possibly care, Freddy is gone. He was with us for about a month, and I am sad that he has left. I hope that he has moved on to greener pastures or a nicer windowsill, and I seriously hope he is not dead.

Mirrors

Went to see this in Cineworld today. WHAT A PIECE OF CRAP. Terrible storyline, some really cringeworthy lines. Awful C.G.I. This one bit especially where Kiefer Sutherland is supposed to be on fire, and it is just sooo badly done. Fuck. What a waste of my life.

I'm giving it a four out of ten and its only getting those four because I was sufficiently terrified for the first half of the movie.

I cannot handle paranormal shit in movies. Scares the bejeesus outta me. Scariest movie I ever saw was The Haunting. For real. It was rated 12. I don't understand. I can handle gore and slashers and all kinds of scarey shit but when it comes to ghosts and spirits and haunted stuff, I freak the fuck out.

Looking forward to seeing Burn After Reading, out on Friday!

Currently listening to: Ceremony - Still Nothing Moves You.

The Lost Boys

What a fuckin movie.

Movies

How to Lose Friends And Alienate People - 6/10

I went to see this is Cineworld today with Iano and Jack. I had seen some trailers for it, which didn't make it look great, so I had some mild negative assumptions, and I had also heard a lot of people saying they thought it was shit, but I was still dying to see it because the main character was being played Simon Pegg.

For those of you who don't know, I am mildly obsessed with Simon Pegg. I fell in love with him while watching Spaced a few years ago, and have been smitten ever since.

I am also a big fan of Kirsten Dunst, after her roles in some of my favourite movies, like The Virgin Suicides, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Bring It On, Eternal Sunshine... and of course Interview With A Vampire when she was only wee.

So anyway, despite not having high hopes for this movie, I actually thoroughly enjoyed it.
Its loosely based on the memoir of Toby Young, and follows a man's blossoming career as a journalist. Basically, Simon Pegg moves to New York and tries to get stuck into all the ladies.

This movie delivers the lols, especially the spoof trailer in it for Megan Fox's character's new movie, 'Teresa - The Making of a Saint'.

"The faith is strong in this one."

I love how there is always Star Wars references in Simon Pegg movies. I also think it's cool that he got to work with Gillian Anderson, because he's a big fan of hers and of The X Files.
There isn't too many laugh-out-loud parts, and the ending seems a bit rushed, but it's an overall feel-good film. Simon Pegg is his usual adorable self. I'd probably give it a 6/10.

I saw two amazing movies recently, The Chaser and Taken. Both involve similar plots, involving the themes of the sex-trade industry, kidnapping and a manhunt, but are very different stylistically.

The Chaser - 8.5/10

I dig South Korean movies as they usually tend to be gory as fuck and rarely have a happy ending. Some notable Korean films would be the Vengeance Trilogy by director Chan-Wook Park, and also A Tale Of Two Sisters.

The Chaser is a thriller about a dirty-cop-turned-pimp, whose girls are going missing one by one. It is established that the girls are being murdered, and although the murderer is caught early on in the film, they don't have enough evidence to hold him, and a desperate struggle begins to prove that this man is the killer, and to find one of the girls that may still be alive.

This film is not as gory as some of its Korean predecessors, but I still felt pretty sick and unhappy when it was over. I love when films affect you physically. In my eyes, this film is a triumph for first-time director Hong-jin Na, and I look forward to his next film The Murderer out next year.


Taken is about a girl who goes to Paris and gets kidnapped and sold into the sex trade industry. Her da just happens to be Liam Neeson, and and also an ex-C.I.A. agent and he legs it to Paris and tries to find his daughter, killing 27 people along the way. This is a kick ass movie.
7/10

Currently listening to: Bitter End.