Thursday, December 25, 2008


I am currently in my parents house curled up in my little sister's old room which is very pink and pretty cosy. There are wardrobes in here, that I remember being frightened of when I was younger, and I can also see the faint outline of the Thomas the Tank engine mural underneath the pink wallpaper.

It has been a year since I spent the night in this house and I find it strange to think about the fact that I used to live here. It's been 3 years since I moved out. Not much has changed since. They got a new fridge. It's nice. I have a thing for fridges. My darling cat has been replaced with an asshole dog. My older brother and sister eventually moved out, and my younger brother and sister moved rooms. I don't have my room here anymore, but I don't really mind.

They recently painted my old room (which is now my little sister's room). I went up to look at it tonight. It is a strange shade of olive green, a very unoffensive, insipid, yet relaxing kind of colour. A fry cry from the abominable shade of orange they painted it while I inhabited it. It is very tidy, no clothes on the floor, and not much crap around the place, as my little sister is not a hoarder like myself. I lay down on the bed, which was the only thing I missed when I moved out, and tried to remember what it was like to live there.

I spent most of my time in that room when I lived here, lying on that bed with my laptop, Jellybean. I remember smoking out the window, pretending to study, fighting with my brother about not turning the landing light off, taking chunks out of the doors and walls from throwing stuff at each other. I remember Laila and Chris being here all the time.

I went down to the kitchen just there and got a snack, choosing from the legion of delicious Marks and Spencer's food in the fridge, and watched a bit of my sister's wedding DVD, which is the cheesiest thing I have ever seen. It's all slow motion and cringeworthy music and whatnot. The dog wouldn't fucking leave me alone, I don't understand how he doesn't sense the insane amount of hatred I feel toward him, or maybe he does and just likes to mess with my head in some fucked up doggy way.

There is a Jacqueline Wilson book beside me that I may just have to read. She was my favourite author as a kid, and I had all of her books. My dad took me out of school one day so that I could go to a reading/signing she was doing in Easons. I was very sad when I got too old for her books. I didn't really have any friends when I was younger, so I read an awful lot of books. Or maybe that was why I didn't have friends.

I remember the tragedy of growing out of childrens books, or young adult books. Whatever. I didn't know what to read. I read some of my mum and dads books, but they were trash. Total trash. I didn't know what kind of books I wanted to read, what authors I might like or how to find out, so I eventually just stopped reading, and began my long term relationship with the internet. I did find some authors that I like in the last couple years but I no longer have the time or the concentration.

Same goes for this.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


This time of year usually gets me pretty down, but I have to say I'm feeling pretty festive right now. I think the main thing I don't like about christmas is the massive build-up, but I haven't felt that this year. Probably because I haven't had any money to buy presents and therefore didn't have the huge stress of christmas shopping on my shoulders.

I'm looking forward to going home because over the last year my family relationships have gotten seriously good. I've finally learned how to talk to and deal with my mother without losing my temper, my lil brother has hit his teens and has finally gotten a bit sound, my older brother has started treating me like an actual person and we've actually become friends over the last few months. It's pretty cool.

I also know that when I want do eventually want to escape in the evening that I can just hop in my car and go see Derry, and then go back to my own house and hang out with friends, which is cool. I spent so many christmases trapped in my house with nobody to hang out with, being forced to go to mass and having a shit time, but I have a feeling tomorrow's gonna be awesome.

I hope you all have a great christmas!

Assume the position

After four months of looking for a job, I was finally given a days work, through a temping agency I signed up for about a month ago. I deal with a woman there who phoned me loads last week saying how she wanted to get me working as soon as possible, which I would have believed if she hadn't waited for 3 weeks after my interview before bothering to check my references.

The last four months have been pretty hard. When I found out I was going to be taking the year out from college, I was quite confident I would snap up a full-time job pretty sharpish. It was not to be. I was not prepared for the job-front to be so bleak. I don't get why people don't hire me. I really don't. I've got experience in everything. It's obvious my C.V. is fatally flawed but I just don't know which part. I've been dying of boredom, and every so often I get pretty down and just can't bring myself to get off the couch. I hate feeling useless, but I do feel this way a lot of the time.

So anyhoo, I get a call yesterday offering me two days in some pharmaceutical company so I obv say YEAH. I awoke this morning at 9am, the very time at which I was supposed to be starting work. Panic ensued. I literally almost vomited. After moping and moaning about not having a job for so long, there's finally a little light at the end of the tunnel, but I manage to royally fuck up day one. I FAIL AT LIFE AND JOBS. Or so I thought...

Luckily Robb was outside my house and drove me into town as fast as he could. SO I finally get in just under 40 minutes late. I had spoken to my recruitment agency lady in the meantime, who told me to chill out and stop running in case I hurt myself. This was good advice as I was wearing heels because my pants were too long and my feet hurt I looked like a fuckin dope. I went inside expecting a frosty reception, but instead, the woman who I was taking over from saw how flustered I was, gave me a fiver and told me to go to Butlers next door, buy myself a hot chocolate, chill out and come back in 15 mins. I WAS GOBSMACKED. I have never been rewarded for fucking up before! (Except for when shit got so bad at home that my parents said they'd pay my rent if I moved out. That was the best thing that ever happened me).

Even the recruitment lady didn't really mind and gave me two more days work for next week. Sound! I don't know if people are just feeling the christmas spirit or what, but shit went well for me today.

I finished my christmas shopping which is brill, except that I never actually got anything for any of my family, except a High School Musical calender for my lil sis cuz she's into that kind of thing. I really really hope Derry likes his presents. I got him a load of stuff, but none of it is that great. I had so much fun wrapping all of it though.

Have Heart played here last night which you can read about in pretty much everybody else's blogs. All the lads in the band were sound as fuck, and it was also cool to see J.D. again who came over with them. So many people come through our house, and so many have been forgotten, having not made any kind of impact, but he was one of the people that we got on really well with. The same can be said for Flynner. He's one of the people that if I see again, I will have the chats and not just recognise as some lad who stayed in my house one time.

Have Heart are not my favouritest band, but I enjoy some of their tunes and the show was killer overall. There was just such an awesome atmosphere at it. I fell in love with hardcore shows when we saw Terror, Blacklisted and Donnybrook in the Underworld in London in Jan '06, and have travelled abroad for many more, but nothing compares to gigs in our own hometown and I like that I can play a small part in helping out, even if it is just giving the bands a place to stay, sometimes a lift, and if they're sound, acting as a tour guide.

I know everyone else is shiting on about it aswell, but Dublin is pretty awesome right now. Not that I've ever really thought it wasn't. For the past 5 years I've been surrounded by some pretty fuckin cool people to go to gigs with and have the laugh, and I love this fucking city. I know I'm fucking off for the summer, but that has nothing to do with not wanting to be here, but rather just wanting to experience somewhere else while I have the opportunity. I visited so many awesome places this year but you can't get to know a place in a few days. I learned this summer that three months is a very short time, and also that the years are starting to zip by.
Now that I've actually got some work coming in I can start to pay off my flights and junk. Sound.

Currently: listening to Disfear and wishing I had season 3 of Arrested Development.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Never goin drinkin again, I'M LYING!

Y'all should buy this, it's fuckin class.

Apes of Wrath | Stay Rad!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


So I'm finally gonna go on a J1 this summer. I've been wanting to do this for like 5 years now, and I've resigned to the fact that if I don't go this year, it's never gonna happen. I've let this opportunity slide every year for various reasons. Most of these reasons still stand but I've decided to ignore them.

The hardest thing will be leaving Derry. This is something that I've avoided thinking about too hard. I went without seeing Derry for two months this summer (ok, I saw him for a day in the middle of it). He was away for a month and the day after he got back, I went away for a month. And to tell the truth, I didn't handle it so well.

For the first time in my life I was homesick. Literally the first time ever. I reckon this was a lot to do with the fact that I really stressing over some stuff at the time. I knew I was going to fail college again and there was nothing I could do about it because I'd fucked off on holiday. I am soooooo bad at college. I literally have zero motivation. I think i handed in maybe one assignment on time last year and attended approx 5% of my lectures. I don't know why I can't just cop the fuck on and do the work. ANYWAY.

Another thing I realised was that it was the first time I'm ever had a home worth missing. This house is the first place that I've finally been comfortable living in. Classnevin rules. I have lived in five and a half houses in the last 4 years and this is the only one thats ever felt like home.

When I got home I said I never wanted to go that long without seeing Der again. And obviously, I still don't. But I just don't want to spend another summer sitting here wishing I could be somewhere else having adventures and experiencing a new way of life. (Although, i have to say this summer was prob the best one I've ever had. It kicked the ass out of 2005.)

I also understand that even if I was here all summer, Derry would not be. He has his own shit to do and his own adventures to go on, and I know that we'll fit in some adventures that we can have together at some stage, but for now we need to do our own thing. We have the rest of our lives to be settled, and get our cat and our cottage and all that, and I need to get this out of my system.

SO I've booked my visa and put a deposit in my flights and as long as I get the money together by march, I'm going to california on June 1st.

I am excited and terrified.

P.S. Me and Derry are twins:

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Science fiction

Judge Dredd was just on E4. What a fucking quality movie! Sylvester Stallone is fucking awesome. There's nothing better than a good ol' futuristic dystopia movie.

Watching this got me to thinking about how much I fucking love science fiction movies. I probably prefer sci-fi to horror these days which is saying a lot as I FUCKING LOVE HORROR MOVIES.
Here is, in my opinion, off the top of my head, some of the best science fiction movies of all time. I may have got some of the decades wrong but how and ever.

Planet of the Apes (only saw this for the first time a couple of months ago, SO good)

Star Wars Ep. IV
Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Some of the best sci-fi movies came outta the 80's:
The Abyss
Back to the Future
Earth Girls are Easy (useless movie but Jeff Goldblum and Jim Carrey are total rides in it)
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes back AND Return of the Jedi
The Running Man
Short Circuit
The Fly

Judge Dredd
Total Recall
Men In Black (fuckin yeah, this initiated my love for pugs)
Mars Attacks
Independence Day
THE FIFTH ELEMENT (def in my top ten fave movies ever)
The Faculty

The rest of the Star Wars movies
Minority Report
A Scanner Darkly (not extremely science-fictiony but based on a novel by Philip K. Dick)
War of the Worlds (I didn't see the original)
Solaris (same again)
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Donnie Darko

That's all I can think of right now.

My fave science fiction books are the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy series, the Man in the High Castle annnnd 1984. I have yet to see the 1984 movie, although I did see the last 5 mins of it on tv the other day. Dang.

There is a whole rake of quality sci-fi tv shows. Robb has been telling me for quite a while that I should watch Battlestar Gallactica. He says I would absolutely love it. And part of me knows that I probably would. Also, I saw a while ago on t'internet that it rated the second best science fiction tv show of all time. Maybe I will get round to watching it soon.

When I was in Seattle this summer I got to go to the Science Fiction Museum which was fucking amaaazing. I got given out to for trying to take photos though. The second time the dude caught me he said he'd confiscate my camera but I managed to convince him not to.
They had the original model of the Death Star, with working lights and junk and an explanation of how they made it. There was all kinds of costumes and weapons from sci-fi movies and tv programs.

There was also a robot exhibition which was so cool! I LOVE robots. Here's a photo of R2D2.

They also had C3P0, the T1000 mask that Robert Patrick wore in Terminator 2, Johnny 5, the robot from Lost In Space, Darth Vader, and a whole heap of others.

They also had a science fiction hall of fame honouring legendary sci-fi writers and directors like Philip K. Dick, George Lucas, Ridley Scott and H.G. Wells.

Here's a picture of some of the masks used in the Coneheads movie!

One of the coolest things about it was that the majority of things in the museum were donated from some families personal collection. I want a fucking amazing personal collection of sci-fi junk!

I want a gaff like the dad from Benchwarmers, with all kinds of robots and junk, only I'm not actually a massive nerd and I'm not going to make millions. I'm not a nerd. Not like some of the nerds I saw in the sci-fi museum. One absloute chump, it seemed, had brought a girl there on a date. He was dragging her round from one exhibit to the next, getting really stupidly excited about each one and telling her all about it, and she actually looked like she wanted to slit her wrists. I'm not a nerd like that. Although I do kind of want to go on a J1 to Seattle and work in this place.

Currently watching Stargate SG1. Best show.

Edit: Coincidentally enough, after I published this blog I realised that the original Solaris was on Film Four. Unfortunately because it is in Russian, and I am mega tired, I kept drifting off to sleep and missed loads of it. Making it much like the new Solaris actually, because the soundtrack of that movie sends me right to sleep and the first time I watched it I couldn't make head nor tails of it because I kept taking naps. Bedtime.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

What the fuck is this!!

On Monday about 30 of us from dublin piled into some cars and drove down to galway. You can read about this in pretty much everybody elses blogs. I'm not gonna say to much about it.
I'm just gonna mention some things that always spring to mind for me when going on a road trip.

First off.

Quality tunes. Do not mistake for good music. You gotta have some quality tunes for a good road trip. One of my favourite driving albums is Millenium by the Backstreet Boys, and listening to this is doubled in greatness by having Laura Wallace sitting beside me helping me belt out all the bits ie. the spanish guitar, the slammin' solos, sound effects and all the rest.
Actually when you've got Laura Wallace, it's good to throw on the Mongoloids as the vocals seem to send her off in to an absolute fit of hysterics, which amusing for everybody else.

I don't know what it is but I am seriously scared of overtaking people. Waiting for an opportunity where you think a car isn't going to come hurtling at you head-first is obviously very important. I don't know if anyone else gets this, but I get a total rush of adrenaline and experience pure fear while overtaking. It's fucking terrifying. On the drive back from Galway, Gajb caught up with us while I was trying to overtake a bus. A FUCKING BUS. I got around it after about ten minutes, and Gajb followed straight after but he seemed to have more trouble actually getting past the bus. It seemed like he was driving beside it, on the wrong side of the road, for fucking ages. I freaked the fuck out, especially when I saw a car coming towards us in the distance. Pure fear.

I was told on the drive back from Galway that every time I approached a roundabout, I kept saying "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??". I obviously know what a roundabout is, and have been encountering them as a driver for over a year, and a person for 22 years. Although I did receive one blue mark for my roundabout etiquette in my driving test. But when its dark out and you've been driving all day, and you can't see because there's no water left to clean the window and all the dirt has been smeared across it by your wipers, and you're doing your best to stay on the road, roundabouts are a total hassle. In my new car the bit of the windshield frame on my right hand side blocks exactly where I need to see when going around a roundabout, which is frustrating to say the least.

Stuff about Galway:

I have been to Galway so many times over the last ten years, and I have driven there at least three times this year, and like to think I know the city really well, but every time I get there I immediately forget which way I'm supposed to go.
Once I hit Eyre square and familiar territory, I'm ok again for a while, but I'd never been down to the Roisín Dubh before. When we decided to go from the venue to La Salsa, I immediately decided to go with my keen sense of direction and my confidence that I know galway pretty well, and led the way for Wally and Jack. Unfortunately I ended up taking us on a 25 minute loop around the town in the freezing cold, to reach a destination that should have only taken approx. 6 minutes to walk to. Jack hates me.

La Salsa:
Fuck this place is awesome. I thought there was only the one, but apparently there are three of them open in Galway now. They do the best burritos EVEERRRR. Mexican food fucking rules.

I only got into mexican food this year, and fuck, I WAS MISSING OUT. I made some fucking kick ass tacos today for myself, Tom Smalley and Derry, they were SO GOOD. I even got minced beef because I wanted to experience some yummy cow before this whole meat crisis turns me into a vegetarian.

I've been getting really sick this week. It started on tuesday at verse and has been getting worse ever since. I feel like my brain is trying to escape through my eyeballs.

I hate Verse even more now. They are so messy, they used every possible pot, pan, utensil and plate that we own and left it all for me to clean up. They kept turning the fucking fire on even though I asked them not to because you can't turn it off when it's been on too long. And their music is a big boring pile of wank. Fuck Verse. The German dude they had with them was the soundest dude ever though.

There was a rainbow around the moon last night. It was freaky. My neck hurt from staring at it for so long. Moan, moan, moan, pain, pain.

Derry has abandoned me for the weekend so come hang out with me.

Currently watching some fucking stupid comedian on the tv who is not funny in any way and I hope he fucking dies.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Beware: Foot content

Ok, I'm sure none of you will actually want to see this but for some reason I feel compelled to share. Look at the absolute state of my foot:

Yes, I am aware that my foot is quite hideous in any case, and I could defo have touched up the nail varnish just for the occasion, but fuck it. LOOK AT ALL THOSE BRUISES. I think there is 8 or 9 all together. There is only 3 on my other foot so I'm not arsed posting a pic.

The cause for such tragic injuries is due to one hell of a good week. It all began with some serious foot-smushage at Ceremony last sunday, and was followed up this weekend with Municipal Waste on Friday and Dirty Money on Saturday.

Municipal Waste. FUCK, this was a fun show. Iron Lung were also really good but I was far too inebriated to properly appreciate them.
As a general rule, I don't really like drinking at shows. Never have, unless I don't particularly like any of the bands playing, but in which case I would usually just not go to the gig. But anyhoo, I decided I kinda had to get trollied for MW, just because, ya know... It's Municipal Waste. Also I had the worst day EVER leading up to the gig and needed a bit of mind numbing. Hurrah! Nothing quite like drinking your problems away while rocking out to some quality thrash.

Anyway, MW's set was fucking insane. The crowd was just full of Fibber's type big sweaty metal dudes going absolutely nuts all over the place. So much horrible curly hair in my mouth. I came out of there barely alive and covered in beer and other peoples sweat. Don't get me wrong, it was quality. I was sad they didn't have the boogie board because it would have worked out a lot better this time, unlike last time when it was just perched precariously on top of approx. 10 dudes who kind of carried it around a bit.

I was seriously broke, so I cashed in my bus refund tickets from 2 years ago (€26, fuck yeah!) to be able to afford a ticket, smuggled in a shoulder of vodka, lovely Wallace bought me a drink and I managed to convince darling Robb to buy me a shirt because it was still my birthday for ten more days ago.

I don't like spending ages just talking about being really drunk, but fuckin hell I was such a mess that night. After the gig I got this intense craving that I really, really wanted McDonalds more than anything in life, so I abandoned everybody, wandered on down O'Connell St, took out my emergency €20 (the last few euro to my name), went into Maccy D's,and got myself a large meal, brought it over to a table, sat down, and proceeded to eat all the leftover food that was on the table (2 chicken nuggets and some fries) before tucking into my own meal. I think this officially makes me a hobo. My Maccy's experience was not pleasant in any case, some aul chap shouted at me and threw a Burger King straw at me which I found totally mind-boggling because I thought for a second that I had actually been in Burger King all this time, and possibly lost my mind completely.
I eventually managed to compose myself and went back out to O'Connell St for some more wandering, where I quickly bumped into Derry and Jack, which was very handy.
We continued on down to Charlies 1 on Westmoreland St. I almost got in a fight with some girls outside but Derry quickly shoved me into Charlies. As soon as I got there, I immediately forgot that I had already eaten all the food ever, and demanded Derry by me another meal, which worked out well because Jack bought both Derry and himself a 3in1, quickly followed by a second round of 3in1s. At which stage all 3 of us almost exploded from too much food and we went on home, although I have absolutely zero recollection of the journey.

I spent most of Saturday on the couch, hanging out and watching the entire series 2 of Black Books.

Dirty Money arrived in the afternoon and within 15 seconds of stepping in the front door, LITERALLY before any of them had even taken there coats off, they started a YouTube party. This did not bode well with me, so I spent most of my time hiding in the other room. I don't know if yall know how I feel about YouTube parties. Not into it, basically. So I didn't actually talk to any of them until we were in the van heading townward, but they turned out to be really sound blokes.

The gig was quality. I must say, I really like the Temple and I hope there are more gigs on there in the future. Rehabilitate were fuckin hilarious, I always enjoy a bit of Ended and Find A Way are my 2nd fave Dublin band and they always deliver.

It was awesome to finally see Dirty Money properly, because seeing the last 5 mins of their set in London last june didn't really count. They were class! It was also cool that so many english people came over for the show. Picked up the Cold Snap record, which is really fucking good.

Afterwards we hit up Doran's which was loads fun. I am a straight up Doran's fan for life. Danced like a maniac with all the English dudes and all my Irish girls. And a Kiwi. Robb got his head kind of puked on. Ate a foot long subway because apparently my stomach just cannot be filled.
Ended up being the designated driver and spent two hours driving around the fuckin city, but I didn't really mind, Chris gave me a lend of his quality youth crew anthems mix cd that the lovely Posi-Jen made for him which made for some good listening, and I ended up going home with more money than I went out with.

Forgot to mention that the lovely Holly Dale and Simon Erl are visiting again aswell as the legendary Tom Smalley. Apparently I give everybody titles now. Anyway, it means good hangouts and good times, even though everybody has been calling me grumpy today. Probably because I am pretty grumpy I suppose, but I think I'm just tired from a long party-filled weekend. I will be sad when Holly and Simon leave us again tomorrow. Always coming and going. Sigh. But Tom is around for the whole week, and it should be a super fun week, starting out with road trip to Galway tomorrow! Galway is my favourite place in Ireland and its been to long since I've been down there, so I'm real excited even though I couldn't give a fuck about Verse.

I can type really fucking fast.

Currently listening to: Mind Eraser

Friday, December 5, 2008

2 years

Derry rules.